Welcome! Enjoy Stories of Life & Laghter...
EXPECTATION
Tip For The Guide
The guide is describing a beautiful work of art to her tour group. She says, "And here, ladies and gentlemen, we conclude out tour with one of the finest pieces of sculpture in the entire museum. Notice the nobility of the face, the integrity of the neck lines, the splendid contours of the shoulders.
"Moreover, ladies and gentlemen, take particular notice of the graceful manner in which the open hand stretches out, as if to say, 'Don't forget a generous tip for the guide.."
Moral:
If you want people to do something, let them know what you expect from them.
PASSING THE BLAME
If you smoke 3 packs a day for 40 years and die of lung cancer, your family blames the tabacco company.
If your neighbor creashes into a tree while driving home drunk, he blames the bartender.
If your grandchildren are brats withought manners, you blame television.
If your friend is shot by a deranged madman, you blame the gun manufacturer.
And if a crazed person breaks into the cockpit and tries to kill the pilot at 35,000 feet, and the passengers kill him instead, the mother of the deceased blames the airline.
So, if I die wile working in front of this computer, I want ytou to blame Bill Gates...okey?
I'DO ANYTHING FOR YOU
In a letter to end all love letters, a young woman wrote: "Dear Jun, words cannot express my deep regret at having broken our engagement. Will you please come to me? Your absence leaves a void in my heart which no one else can fill. Please lets start over again. I'd do anything for you.
Signed: Your ever foriving & loving Marietta."
A postscript (P.S.) follows: "Congratulations! I heard you won $5 million in the Lotto."
COMMITMENT TO A GOAL/ORGANIZTION
"Dogs Chasing the Rabbit "
Once a monk meets another monk and asks why, all of a sudden, so many monks are leaving the monastery.
The other monk answered citing the story of a pack of dogs running after a rabbit. One dog catches sight of the rabbit and starts to chase it through the fields, barking and yelping all the way. The other dogs join because they see and hear him chasing the rabbit. And so the whole pack goes off across the fields in pursuit of the rabbit.
After a while other dogs get tired and one by one they drop out because they do not really see the rabbit. Only the first dog continues because only he has truly seen and understood what he is chasing.
The second monk concluded his story by saying that's the way it is in the religious. A lot of monks go off following the Lord, but only one or two really see the Lord and understand what it is they are following.
Reflection:
That's the way it is with other commitments. For instance, some get all excited and invloved about Cursillo, the Charismatic movement, the Couples for Christ, the Basic Christina Community, the KC, the Life in the Spirit Seminar... and they enjoy all this.
But after a while they drop out because they never really understood what it was all about. So with those who entered Marriage or Religious life or have great dreams in life. Like the dogs in the story, they never really saw the rabbit. Tired and lacking in motivation, commitment, patience, and perseverance, they drop out.
MISSION COLLECTION
"Hit Him Again, Lord."
A parish priest was making an impassioned appeal to the parish council for the annuall mission collection.
Great was everybody's surprise when the wealthiest, but miserly member of the council rose and offered to start the collection rolling with a measly contribution of $500. As he stood up to hand in the amount, a mild earthquake took place and some plaster from the ceiling fell and hit him on the head.
A bit shaken, he withdrew the amount and said, "I guess I'd better make that $5,000."
A small voice from the back of the hall was heard, "Hit him again, Lord."
Reflection:
When it comes to expenses, say, for grambling, drinking, a costly show, sports, it's not so difficult digging out from our pockets. But when it comes to charity, to noble causes, it takes an earthquake or some crisis to move us. God really works in mysterious ways to remind us of our brothers/sisters in need....
GOSSIPING
St. Philip and Lady Gossiper
A story is told about a lady penitent and St. Philip Neri. As penance for having damaged other's reputation through gossiping, Philip told her to go out and buy an unplucked chicken in the market, and during her walk back she was to pull the feathers out one by one and scatter them along the way. Then she was to return to him and he would tell her what to do next.
On her return, St. Philiop praised her for her obedience. "Now to complete your penance," Philip said, "go back and pick up all the feathers."
"But Father," the lady exclaimed, "you know that is impossible. The wind blew them all away; I could never hope to recover them now."
"Quite true," the saint replied. "Neither can you recall the damaging words about your neighbors which by this time have passed from mouth to mouth far beyond your reach."
Moral: "The tongue should be used to bless rather than curse; to compliment rather than criticise; to high-light good qualities rather than focus on bad qualities."
There would be more peace and harmony in our homes and work places if we applied this wise advice.
Marriage as Empty Box
Marriage counselor Allan Petersen says, "Most people get married believing a myth - that marriage is a beautiful box full of all the things they have longed for: companionship, sexual fulfillment, intimacy, friendship.
"The truth is that marriage, at the start, is an empty box. You must put something in before you can take anything out. There is no love in marriage; love is in people, and people put it into marriage. There is no romance in marriage; people have to infuse it into their marriages.
"A couple must learn the art and form the habit of giving, loving, serving, praising - keeping the box full. If you take out more than you put in, the box will empty."
Postscript: Problem arises if only one of the couple is "putting in" and the other doesn't care. Marriage is what couples make it. It takes two to tango.
TAKING BIBLE PASSAGES OUT OF CONTEXT
A Bible Christian was having serious problem with his business due to the economic crisis. It was getting bankrupt.
When in trouble, he would turn to Bible cutting to find out what God wanted him to do. So taking out his thick Bible, he "cut" it at random with his eyes closed and moved about his index finger on the page. When he stopped, the finger was pointing at Mathew 27:5 which read: "Judas went out and hang himself." The man was scared. "Is this what God wants me to do now?" he muttered. So he tried again a second time doing the same procedure.
Eyes closed, he cut the Bible and moved his finger on the page. Opening his eyes, he saw his finger pointing at Luke 10:37 which read: "Go and do likewise." The poor guy was more scared.
The man said, "Let me try a third time if it'll confirm the first two." He opened the book and closed it, then opened again, repeating the same procedure. On opening his eyes, he saw his finger pointing at John 13:27. the scrupulous Bible Christian almost collapsed of heart attack because the passage read: "What you have to do, do it immediately!"
Moral: It's dangerous to interpret the passages of the Bible out of context. It's not enough that we know what the Bible says; it's more important to know what it means.
JAPANESE AND TAXI DRIVER
(On BOASTING)
A Japanese tourist was riding a taxi car around Manila (Philippines). He said: "This is Toyota...Made in Japan. Very fast." Seeing a car passed by, he remarked: "Ah, that's Mitsubishi...Made in Japan. Very fast."
Reaching his destination, the Japanese was flabbergasted to see the high taxi fare.
The driver said: "Taxi meter, made in Japan. Very fast!"
HOW TO TREAT SUFFERING
There is a story about a man who was suffering from extreme emotional anxiety which was the result of a recurring dream. Night after night, he dreamed the same dream, awakening each morning with a terrible headache and completely exhausted. Seeking help, he went to a psychiatrist.
The doctor asked what it was that he kept dreaming about and the man answered, "Each night, I dream that I am trying to open a large door. I feel that it is important that I go through the doorway. The door is a large, glass one and there is a single word printed on it. All night I pull and pull at the door but it will not open. At the end of the dream I am exhausted and collapse at the bottom of the door."
After several minutes of deep thought, the psychiatrist asked, "What is the word that is printed on the glass door?"
The man answered, "Push."
Most of us spend our time pulling against reality; the reality of pain and suffering as an integral part of life. But if we would "push," flow inward with the mystery of suffering, we might find that it would open all sorts of doors for us. When we are able to flow with suffering, we move with it and through it. When we reject suffering or war against it, we end up a victim of anxiety and exhaustion as did the man in the story. Suffering and pain can be creative, can lead to our growth. (story by: Edward Hays)
CREATIVE SUFFERING
Early in his singing career Bing Crosby was struggling to find his own distinctive style of singing. At that time he was an unknown entertainer and was part of a singing group.
In the early thirties he became sick when nodules, small lumps, formed on his vocal chords. When he recovered, the nodules remained. The result was a unique voice which Bing described as the voice of some teenager singing in a rain barrel.
Because of his sickness he found that he now had a distinctive singing style and that style soon made him a star. His suffering was not destructive but creative and bore great fruit.
Suffering is like manure; it can be unseemly and offensive, or it can be the "stuff" out of which great productivity comes. (story by: Edward Hays)
SUFFERING... Let's Exchange Place
A man kneeling in front of life size crucifix started crying and reciting a long list of complaint. The Lord gently spoke from the cross:
Lord: Alright, stop crying now. I kow how you feel. If you wish, I'll carry all your sufferings, but let's change places. I'll take your place and you hnag here on the cross, 24 hours a day!
Man: Err... Well... you see, Lord, I was just kidding. In fact, I am just about to go home. Thank you... Bye.
- - - - o 0 o - - - -
MARRIAGE: HARMONY FORMULA
The master listened patiently to a wife complaining about her husband. Finally he said to her, "Your marriage would be happy, my dear, if you were a better wife."
"And how can I become a better wife?"
"By not trying so hard to make your husband better."
Lesson:
Many married people think that when they marry, they possess their partner as they possess and own a fridge or a stove or a radio or a mobile phone. But man and wife don't belong to one another. They have been given to one another.
They keep their identity. As the Lebanese poet Kahlil Gibran says, "In the temple the pillars stand alone. And just because of that they carry the beautiful ceiling." Take a look at any church or a large building; the pillars are never together or in pairs. They are spaced out.
True love needs distance. The more a partner can allow his or her partner the sense of his/her personal freedom, the more often he/she receive the partner in return as a free and willingly given gift.
(Reprinted from: Stories of Life & Laughter - Fr. Bel San Luis, SBD)
CORRUPTION
A Filipino farmer had just been to the polls and was asked he had voted. "Well," he said, "on my way there I maet a Magdalo who said he'd give me 100 pesos if I'd vote for him; so I took the money. Then I met a Magkano who said he'd give me fifty pesos if I'd vote for him; so I took the money too.
"So you voted the Magdalo?"
"No, I voted for the Magkano. I figured that he was fifty percent less corrupt than the Magdalo!"
Lesson: 100% or 50% corrupt, corrupt pa rin (still corrupt). We Filipinos deserve the corrupt politicians we have in the past, present, & perhaps in the future because most of the voters sell their votes or being bribed. Why you complaining now? We never learn...! Tama na! Sobra na! Mag-wise voter ka na!
Feb 2008 - - - - - 0 o 0 - - - - -
BLAMING OTHERS
If you smoke three packs a day for for 40 years and die of lund cancer, your family blames the tobacco company.
If your neighbor ctrashes into a tree while driving home drunk, he blames the bartender.
If your grandchildren are brats without manners, you blame television.
If your frined is shot by a deranged madman, you blame the gun manufacturer.
And if a crazed person breaks into the cockpit and tries to kill the pilot at 35,00 feet, and the passengers kill him instead, the mother of the deceased blames the airline.
So, if I die while working in front of this computer, I want you to blame Bill Gates...okay?
- - - - - 0 O 0 - - - - -
ONLY PLAYERS WIN, NOT EXPECTATORS (involvement)
If you want to be a winner, you have to be on the team.....not on the benches.
A well-known coach is said to have been questioned about how much college football contributes to the national fitness picture. When he replied with an abrupt "Nothing!" the startled interviewer asked: "Why not?"
"Well," he said, "the way I see it, you have 22 men down on the field desperately needing a rest, and 40,000 people in the stands desperately needing some exercise."
It is not anusual in a parish to have a small group of exhausted Christian workers struggling down on the "field" while the rest of the congregation is "on the sidelines eating hotdogs and popcorn." - M.R. de Haan
- - - o 0 o - - -
Patient's First Operation
An old lady who was being wheeled into the operating room. Visibly nervous, she said trembling, "Doctor, please be gentle with me; this is my first time to be operated on."
The youthful surgeon glanced at her and said, "Don't worry, we're in the same situation. This is also my first time to do an operation."
Moral: If the doctor tells you that your operation will be successful and you believe his word although you're totally ignorant of how it will work out, that's faith. Divine faith is trusting Christ's word though we cannot understand how it works.
January 2008
Communicator: posted 19, 2008
Site: hotel lobby. A good-looking young man is relaxing in a spacious club chair. A young widow with a five-year-old son seats herself several chairs away. The little boy goes over to the young man and asks:
"What is your name, uncle?"
"My name is John Smith."
"Are you married?"
"No, little boy."
"Are you staying at the hotel several more days?"
"About two weeks, lad."
Then the son turns to his mother and shouts: "Mummy, what else am I supposed to ask him?"
- - - o 0 o - - -
ONLY PLAYERS WIN, NOT EXPECTATORS (involvement)
If you want to be a winner, you have to be on the team.....not on the benches.
A well-known coach is said to have been questioned about how much college football contributes to the national fitness picture. When he replied with an abrupt "Nothing!" the startled interviewer asked: "Why not?"
"Well," he said, "the way I see it, you have 22 men down on the field desperately needing a rest, and 40,000 people in the stands desperately needing some exercise."
It is not anusual in a parish to have a small group of exhausted Christian workers struggling down on the "field" while the rest of the congregation is "on the sidelines eating hotdogs and popcorn." - M.R. de Haan
- - - o 0 o - - -
Patient's First Operation
An old lady who was being wheeled into the operating room. Visibly nervous, she said trembling, "Doctor, please be gentle with me; this is my first time to be operated on."
The youthful surgeon glanced at her and said, "Don't worry, we're in the same situation. This is also my first time to do an operation."
Moral: If the doctor tells you that your operation will be successful and you believe his word although you're totally ignorant of how it will work out, that's faith. Divine faith is trusting Christ's word though we cannot understand how it works.
February 2008
A VALENTINE STORY
- By Nelly Favis Villafuerte
THIS coming Thursday (February 14th) will be Valentine’s Day. People all around the world will be talking and expressing their love in different ways. From the Biblical point, love as our Lord God intended it is more than just passion or romantic feelings. In the Holy Bible, 1 Corinthians, Chapter 13 – known as the love chapter because of its powerful description of love, partly says: "Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails. x x x"
* * *
Let me share with you once again one of my favorite stories of love between husband and wife. It is story of a husband’s extraordinary way of expressing his love for his wife.
Red roses were her favorites, her name was also Rose.
And every year her husband sent them tied with pretty bows.
The year he died, the roses were delivered to her door.
The card said, "Be my Valentine," like all the years before.
Each year he sent her roses, and the note would always says,
"I love you even more this year, than last year, on this day."
"My love or you will always grow, with every passing year."
She knew this was the last time that the roses would appear.
She thought, he ordered roses in advance before this day.
Her loving husband did not know, that he would pass away.
He always liked to do things early, way before the time.
Then, if he got too busy, everything would work out fine.
She trimmed the stems, and placed them in a very special vase.
Then, sat the vase beside the portrait of his smiling face.
She would sit for hours, in her husband’s favorite chair.
While staring at his picture, and the roses sitting there.
A year went by, and it was hard to live without her mate.
With loneliness and solitude, that had become her fate.
Then, the very hour, as on Valentine before.
The doorbell rang, and there were roses sitting by her door.
She brought the roses in, and just looked at them in shock.
Then, went to bet the telephone, to call the florist shop.
The owner answered, and she asked him, if he would explain.
Why would someone do this to her, causing her such pain?
"I know your husband passed away, more than a year ago."
The owner said, "I know you’d call, and you would want to know."
"The flowers you received today, were paid for in advance."
"Your husband always planned ahead, he left nothing to chance."
"There is a standing order, that I have on file down here."
"And he paid, well in advance, you’ll get them every year."
"There also is another thing, that I think you should know."
"He wrote a special little card… he did this years ago."
"Then should ever, I find out that he’s no longer here."
"That’s the card… that should be sent to you the following year."
She thanked him and hung up the phone, her tears now flowing hard.
Inside the car, she saw that he had written her a note.
Then, as she stared in total silence, this is what he wrote…
"Hello my love, I know it’s been a year since I’ve been gone.
"I hope it hasn’t been too hard for you to overcome.
"I know it must be lonely, and the pain is very real.
"For if it was the other way, I know how would I feel.
"The love we shared made everything so beautiful in life.
"I love you more than words can say. You were the perfect wife.
"You were my friend and lover, you fulfilled my every need.
"I know it’s only been a year, but please try not to grieve.
"I want you to be happy, even when you shed your tears.
"That is why the roses will be sent to you for years.
"When you get these roses, think of all the happiness.
"That we had together, and how both of us were blessed.
"I have always loved you and I know I always will.
"But my love, you must go on, you have some living still.
"Please – try to find happiness, while living out your days.
"I know it is not easy, but I hope you find some ways.
"The roses will come every year, and they will only stop,
"When your door’s not answered, when the florist stops to knock.
"He will come five times that day, in case you have gone out.
"But after his last visit, he will know without doubt.
"To take the roses to the place, where I’ve instructed him.
"And place the roses where we are, together once again."
* * *
Let us express our love, care, and concern for others today. Today will never come back. One may ask: How can we be able to love others? Simply, by accepting Christ’s love for us and committing ourselves to share that kind of love in our life and relationship – on a continuing basis without discrimination. As 1 John 4:19 says: "We love Him (God), because He first loved us." Let us read the Holy Bible and find out how much our Lord God loves us.