Reflections on Life and Aging When I was young, I thought that past twenty years is "old". Then I got to that point in life and much to my pleasant surprise, I did not feel "old". Alongside doing studies, holding a job and undertaking projects in the university's Student Government and other groups, I had fun time with my high school and university friends. Then in my mid-20's, I had a huge change of social, cultural, economic and political landscape by migrating to Australia. There were two main factors for me to leave my family, friends and my birth country. I needed better livelihood to help the family keep my father pain-free from the ravages of cancer. Secondly, it was to escape the suffocating atmosphere of Martial Law. In a lot of ways, I could say that I achieved the two primary objectives of leaving home. I must mention though, that sadly my father passed away only after two months of my arrival in Australia. What I did not foresee as another good result of migrating was the strengthening of my Christian faith and gaining a greater consciousness of my relationship with God. Previously, I was a "fallen Catholic". Despite my mother's constant admonition, I stopped going to church. I reasoned out that I could pray and speak with my God more solemnly anytime and anywhere, but not in church. I found that rather than being able to pray, I rebelled at seeing the gap between the rich and the poor. Contrary to the Church's teaching that all men are equal, there were varying classes and corresponding fees for baptism, confirmation, wedding and maybe even funeral masses. For example, on Palm Sunday, the "haves" waved large palm arrangement with floral and other decoration and the "have-nots" had cuttings from their or the neighbour's palm tree. One of the mechanisms I adopted to cope with homesickness was to go to church. Slowly I learned to appreciate that despite the congregation being made up of people of various cultural and socio-economic backgrounds, there were no differences on the celebration of the sacraments and related worship practices. The defining moment for me was on a Palm Sunday, a box of palm cuttings at the church's entrance was available for people to help themselves. I realised that all the 'reasons' for me to avoid going to church were no longer relevant. Over time, I felt 'reconciled' with God. This in turn inspired me to become more involved in community organisations which undertake activities which are 'witnessing' the teachings of Christ. Maybe with my involvement with the community activities, family and work demands, alongside doing more studies, I did not notice or maybe I did not mind getting "old". In fact, I am looking forward to the time that I will have grandchildren. I am not saying that life has been perfect. Every time there were challenges and sad moments, I remember our Blessed Mother who had to bear the pain of watching her Son being tortured and dying on the Cross. And reminding myself that Christ suffered to prepare a place for us in the House of our Lord and praying, I get the strength and comfort to keep going and not be afraid to grow old. In closing, I wish to share with you excerpts of a poem which beautifully captures the sentiments about aging. Old Age, I decided, is a gift I am now, probably for the first time in my life, the person I have always wanted to be. Oh, not my body! I sometime despair over my body, the wrinkles, the baggy eyes, and the sagging butt. And often I am taken aback by that old person that lives in my mirror (who looks like my mother!), but I don't agonise over those things for long. I would never trade my amazing friends, my wonderful life, and my loving family for less grey hair or a flatter belly. As I've aged, I've become more kind to myself, and less critical of myself. I've become my own friend. I have seen too many dear friends leave this world too soon; before they understood the great freedom that comes with aging. Whose business is it if I choose to read or play on the computer until 4 AM and sleep until noon? As you get older, it is easier to be positive. You care less about what other people think. I don't question myself anymore. I've even earned the right to be wrong. So, I like being old. It has set me free. I like the person I have become. I am not going to live forever, but while I am still here, I will not waste time lamenting what could have been, or worrying about what will be. And I shall eat dessert every single day. (If I feel like it). *Violi is the Media and Public Relations Officer of the Australian Handball Federation. She is proud to announce that the Australian Men's Team recently won the Oceania Region Handball World Championship Qualifier. This entitles the Australian Team to participate in the World Championship to be held in Croatia in January 2009. Go Aussies!
By Violi Calvert
-Anonymous
Violi as a small child
Violi at Women’s Handball World Championship in France 2007
I'm 60, grumpy and proud of it
John Hopkins
ON MY 60th birthday I've officially become a happily grumpy old man. Here for the record is what makes me grumpy.
People who talk and read during the pre take-off airline safety demonstration - especially the federal minister who chatted through the life jacket instructions on her way from Adelaide to Sydney the other day.
Wires under my desk that become entangled without being touched. Politicians and bureaucrats who fail to recognise they are the employees and we are the employers. People who take forever to say goodbye when leaving one's home. Back-office types who request the "original" death certificate when sorting out an estate.
Horns and sirens in radio commercials when driving. Politicians from both sides who blame the previous government - you're in power, get on with it. Kerry O'Brien, who has recently stopped interrupting government ministers. Why, Kerry? People who call me mate when I'm not their mate.
Australian red wine that's so heavy that it grabs you by the throat. The words "no problem" - I mean why should it be a problem? Australian films with a few blinding exceptions. Ian Chappell's cricket commentary style. He should listen to Richie. Newspaper obituaries that exaggerate the good bits and obscure people's failings. Leaders who lie.
The proliferation of road signs and changing speed zones. Mothers-in-law who rewrite their family history. Real estate agents. TV chefs who say "plate-up". TV journalists who say "next up". Sports commentators who say "down the throat".
Spotty faced brokers and George Bush. Smokers who average five weeks a year (that's an hour a day) standing in the streets fouling the footpaths and my lungs. Corporate criminals who avoid jail. Film and theatre critics. What gives them the right?
Everyone who says toilet. Anyone who says sorry when they're not. Rap, indistinguishable art and that woeful all male Swan Lake production. Graduates who haven't graduated in anything other than a subject. Wall Street subprime loan schemers. Self-help authors who create sufficient additional problems for a follow-up book.
But mostly I'm grumpy because Margaret Throsby has not yet invited me on her program.
ART OF LIFE AND FRIENDSHIP - Nida Dacil
ART OF LIFE a.
Men heap together the mistakes of their lives and create a monster which
they call 'destiny'. Some take a pleasure in contemplating the ugliness of
the idol. These are called Stoics. Others build it a temple like Solomon's
and worship the temple.
A water of conviction changed into the wine of faith. That more and more
younger man does not believes in goodness, this more lead to evil life. Like
Galileo question - keeps on asking on how this things happen, when his
adversaries had a complete big-bang theory as to why things happen.Like
a child once asked what was a carabao, and it was an animal with four feet,
and other attribute. The child again asked - Why is a carabao? That was
more difficult to answer. That life in this world is like piece of art, for art's
sake that is being discussed by best writers, educated or uneducated people,
christian people and all sorts of people. That every picture of art is like a life
of one person as a pattern. Every pattern is as personal as a picture. That
we ought to see mind in isolated forest as we see face in beautiful country.
Mind and face in every ornament. There's is as morally expressed in baroque
architecture as if were over the Biblical context.
That pictorial of life is art effect, lots of lovely comedy like living in paradise,
at the other end also a purgatory - like a vision of Miss Felicity gathering
strawberry fruits, the primavera of Veronica - like lost in translation of line
that gives inkling literal meaning. In the end Miss Felicity said - give me
white roses, lots and lots of them be laid, a lonely shade, praise poor gift,
mourn useless things, crown of thorns like Jesus Christ who suffered the
greater ills than anyone could know - God the river of life.
In this world there are two kind of people, this, those who protect people
and those who understand other people. Also, there's two gate in life,
the gate of wisdom and gate of beauty. The gate of beauty are those who
are wise, brave, strong, this gate so wide for people to enter. The gate of
life God want us to enter was the gate of wisdom.
FRIENDSHIP
Did you ever analyse what a good friendship or a good relationship was depend
upon? A really good love relationship is basically a good friendship. A real friendship
is attained when there is a present a similarity of interest, of taste, and a points of
view. It is human nature to like those who are like us, and ordinarily we will gravitate
toward and feel more attracted to those people who share in large measure our
points of view. Our best friends are those with whom we have many interest in
common.
The enthusiastic person will prefer ordinarily to be with others who are also
enthusiastic and extroverted. He wilts when he is with a wet blanket or the
strong silent type. The art devotee finds it easier to develop a comradeship
with other art lovers. The gangster will find his most satisfying companions in
the underworld. It should be obvious therefore, that to be successful in our
human relationship, we must first have a real understanding and appreciation
of others feeling, interest, thoughts, ambitions, and their general patterns of
behaviour.
Personal charm and success in social life are dependent upon your ability to
enter into the interest, points of view, and aspirations of others. How can you
ever hope to have what others will regard as a pleasing personality unless you
are able to recognize other people's judgements, mix freely with them, and learn
to appreciate what they like? When you are modest about yourself, and when
you show interest in other belief and views, you are implying that they are
persons of worth, and are leaving them with a measure of fulfilment of their
desire for recognition.
OUR DAILY LIFE and GROWING OLD
-- by Nida Dancil
Everyday there's miracle in our life, only we don't notice them. At times we found ourselves so sad, for no reason, then come next there's good surprises from a friend or member of family. We come to think, why this happen. This all from heaven. Suddenly we get unexpected phone call from a friend we never heard for such a long time, or letter from what we think, a long lost friend. This all sorts of miracle. At one stage, I walk down the road, knowing no where to go next, come to mind, that enter a gift shop, there I found bundle of attractive artificial flowers that not hoping to see, I buy them, for I like them so much, that's another miracle sign. Such things change direction, why, God must have a plan for everything.
Sometimes, we see them in our dreams, that we walk in valley of beautiful garden, lots of nice flowers. After this dreams, a week or month, even a year, we really get to see in real life this beautiful garden. This really keep us thinking that dream can mean to us of be in real life. We could discover, keep thinking, then we could find, that dream could come true someday or somehow. Always possible, turn off the music, look upon the window, there's valley of wide wonderful colours of roses out there. How wonderful it for us to view them, concentrate to recieve the beauty all gift from God, yet always possible. We think, just coincidence of course! But we looking its better today than yesterday, another day, another episode of life, we feel much better, start to believe this is powerful force of daily life. Must have been from God again. We can explain, it's another kind of miracles that we feel in pain has gone, we don't feel it anymore.
Many certainties takes our act itself is carried out. We have sometimes the feeling that says, I feel as though I have been here before, but we can't remember just where. But it seems familiar to us. Other times, we talk to this person, she's so good, so polite, thinking as if we meet this person long ago, seem very mysterious, amazing, but we felt we meet this person before, in somewhere. She remind us of our lost best friend, looks familiar. Daily life, give us miracle we can't notice, but most days, there's
feeling and sense of something mysterious elements.
b. Growing Old
To grow old means we become better, wiser, more intelligent dealing difficult problems. We grow up, we grew old, its up to every individual. We all reaches our limit mentally and emotionally and spiritually.
Other people pray everyday, everynight before going to bed. Life is not mean to be easy, but through God nothing is impossible. God always there lead us to happiness, we always hope "lead us not into temptation".
How can we attain those happiness? We may need to climb the mountain top, most succeeded, other not. Other can't cope pain, dissappiontment or hardship. We can't reach happiness without facing hardship in life. This is part of life. No easy road to happiness. Most face multitude of difficulties, but has Jesus Christ suffered the same? He suffered much more than any other human being. The road to life has been happy as we get older, and older personality expects and is ready for any hardship of life as well as happiness.
We get depressed as things goes wrong, but don't lose hope. To get depressed easily, you can't get to your destination. Reach out the bright side, forget the worse, don't get blind, don't be in negative thought. Be realistic. Face ourselves, rid those worries, we need to do something, after all is not that painful. We need to have more under- standing to fellow human beings, what they seeking, their aspirations. We need to look upon some of other common frailties. Every individual can measure those insights in terms from ourselves. We become more stronger, less worries and more challenging in different forms of life.
We remember always that God in our shadows all time. That we can see God from other people and in our spirit. All good vision of life are caused us having faith to Loving Lord.